What Was Lost In The Rain
by Blood Crayon
Summary: I grabbed my stuff and shoved it in my old duffel bag. I went and picked up the picture of me and Yuki. My first thought was to put it in my bag but finally I crossed the room. And put it in the trash bin.
1. Default Chapter

Dsiclaimer: I don't own Gravitation

Shuichi's POV

I leaned my head back against the brick building. It was pouring rain, but I made no attempt to get out of it. The slight overhang shielded myself slightly from the rain, but it could not stop the chill that was slowly spreading through my body. I had been locked out. Yuki had kicked me out again. It felt as though I should even stop expecting the door to be unlocked when I arrived home. I had been staying at Hiro's house so much it felt as though I lived more with him then with Yuki. I didn't want to get up and call Hiro again. I didn't want to burden him again. I knew he probably wanted a night alone with Ayaka. I also knew part of the reason was shame. After all this time with Yuki and all the things we had been through I was still doing something wrong. I was still burdening Yuki. I knew it was something I had done and Yuki had a right to hate me. I pulled my jacket closer trying to warm myself. My jacket was as wet as the rest of my clothes.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to fall asleep. Trying to stop from crying. I couldn't help it. Everything I had ever wanted was Yuki and he couldn't care less about me. The light that illuminated the front of the apartment complex went out leaving me in the dark.

I'm all alone. It's just like before I met Hiro in Junior High. I might have gotten a few passing glances and been admired for doing something. Though in truth...Inside myself I was alone. I had no one who I could trust and hang out with. The one thing in my life had been Nittle Grasper. I could imagine that I was Ryuichi's friend. It was like that until I met Hiro. He had wanted to be my friend and learn about me. I still loved Nittle Grasper, but no longer needed them as my stability. Yuki had become my stability, but instead of me no longer needing him. He no longer wanted me. It was pitch black so I no longer felt the need to hold back from crying. I pulled my knees in and soon had cried myself to sleep.

Yuki's POV

I laid down on my couch. I had kicked the brat out again. I admit sometimes it was nice having him around, but mostly I just felt like kicking him out. Then Hiro would show up on his Motorcycle and take him to his house. The truth is I enjoyed kicking him out. He was like a dog. Everyday he obediently showed up at my door only to be turned away. It was a game and incredibly amusing

For me at least.

Tomorrow I'll let him come in and give Hiro a break. Speaking of him I haven't heard his motorcycle. I looked down out my window and saw a figure lying hunched together on the ground. It was the brat. He was sleeping outside in the rain. I felt my amusement falter and grabbed my umbrella that was leaning against the wall next to the door. I walked down the steps and opened the door. Outside it was pouring even worse then I had thought. I went over to Shuichi and kicked him. He trembled for a minute and sat up without opening his eyes. When they opened they didn't light up like they usually did. It was probably from the not sleeping.

"Yuki...?" He said and rubbed his eyes.

"No shit sherlock. Come inside" I said and gave him a nasty look. He got up without saying anything and followed me upstairs quietly. I opened the door to our apartment. He walked in past me without acknowledging me and went to our bedroom.

"Probably getting changed" I mused to myself.

Shuichi's Pov

I walked into the bedroom I had once shared with Yuki. Everything that surrounded me had been made into a memory between me and Yuki. I walked across the room and picked up a photo. It had been Yuki and I ice-skating. I had been laughing, but Yuki had been staring off in to the distance. I placed the photo down and walked up to the pile of my possessions. Clothes, A few CDs, and junk. Everything else I had owned was still at my parent's house. I grabbed my stuff and shoved it in my old duffel bag. I went and picked up the picture of my and Yuki. My first thought was to put it in my bag but finally I crossed the room. And put it in the trash bin. I sat down on the bed. This house. Everything here had been my life for the past three years. Yuki was the person I had devoted everything too. Now I know I'm not the right person for Yuki. He should be with someone who can give him comfort and not pain. I caused Yukis life to shatter once and I can't let it happen again.

I stood up and walked out of the room. I kept my head down and walked out the door. I heard Yuki mumble something incoherently and I could hear his footsteps behind me. I pressed the down button for the elevator and when he rounded the corner the door opened. I stepped inside and pressed the button for the ground floor. When I walked through the door leading into the darkness. I took a few steps and turned around. Yuki was leaning against the door frame huffing.

"What...the...fuck..?" He huffed out.

I tried to smile one last time for him, I knew it was barely a wisp of a smile. "I'm sorry Yuki. I'm not the person who can make you happy. I'm not the person who can make you happy for the rest of your life. I messed with your life once and almost permanently hurt you. I'm sorry. I think the best way for you would be to just forget about me," I was crying freely now. I was soaked to the bone and the tears warmed my cheeks, but froze my heart.

After that Yuki said nothing. I turned and ran. Once I was a block away I slowed down. It was the telephone booth I had used so many times to call Hiro after Yuki kicked me out. I collapsed on the ground. The tears that had been falling down my face turned to sobs. I had left everything behind. I had left behind my love for love. I didn't know where to go now. I pushed myself off the ground and began to walk. I had no idea where I was going. Soon I was in front of NG Studios. I sat down on the bench outside.

Yuki's POV

How can he be gone? How can he say that bullshit? It's not like that at all.

I need him here

Shuichi's POV

I heard a door open behind me.

"...Shu-chan?" a familiar voice said.

"Ryuichi?" I asked. Ryuichi ran and sat next to me. His face was plastered with his trademark goofy grin. When he caught sight of my tear streaked face and lousy demeanor he stopped smiling.

"Shuichi. What's wrong?" He asked

"It's Yuki..I left him..It's for the best, but then why..why does it hurt so much?" I sobbed.

"Shuichi..After losing love everything hurts..." Ryuichi whispered. Then he lifted his hand and pushed my chin up. "Until you find someone to help you heal." He said and leaned forward our lips connected and I felt so confused. My body told me to kiss back so thats what I did.

To Be Continued


	2. Love Lost On A Broken Heart

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation

-Shuichi's POV-

"Ryuichi... You're just doing this to make me feel better..." I said and turned away. I couldn't bear to look at his face that was filled with emotion. Ryuichi's arms were still wrapped around me.

"Shuichi, That's not true. I have always admired you for your perseverance. You always loved Yuki unconditionally. You did not even need to be with him to love him. I've always felt that you deserved more then him. Don't ruin yourself for the sake of him!" Ryuichi said with an unexpected rush of passion. Ryuichi may hold the demeanor of an idiot, but when it came to the people he loved and the music he loved he was more serious then Tohma Seguchi.

"You were eighteen when you first met him, Am I correct?" Ryuichi asked quietly.

"Yes... I couldn't imagine going anywhere without him." I answered staring at my hands. "Funny that was I who ended everything..." I said trying to make a joke.

"Shuichi after all that has happened to you Yuki-San still pushes you away. Don't you get it?! It hurt you too! Everyone felt bad for Yuki, but

No one ever though about what was happening to you! You were hurt too!" Ryuichi yelled and pulled me closer to him.

I started crying even harder. How did Ryuichi know those things when I had not even been able to come to terms with them myself? I always felt the need to devote all my attention to Yuki because I thought no one would care about me. Being denied the love by Yuki was painful, but the moments when he did care about me were enough to make me forget about how much pain I had felt.

Or that's what I had thought.

-Yuki's Pov-

I walked back up to my room in a daze. He was really gone. I slowly walked over to the coach and collapsed down on it. I started smoking a cigarette. I rested my head back against the wall. I remembered Shuichi constantly warning me that if I were to fall asleep with a cigarette in my mouth I could get seriously hurt.

Well I suppose it might be better if I get serious hurt.

-Shuichi's POV-

Ryuichi had walked me back to his place. After a quick shove and a command to get showered I was standing in the bathroom that I got to through Ryuichi's room. Ryuichi had forced a pile of clean clothes in to my hand to wear. I had not bothered to turn on the lights in his bedroom and now standing at the doorway to the bathroom I turned on the lights in the bathroom. . It was nothing special really and I was surprised on how plain it was. I walked across the floor to Ryuichi's shower and turned on the water. I let the water run across my almost blue hand until I climbed into the shower. I kneeled down and then sat down fully clothed in his shower for a few minutes with my head resting in my hands. My clothes clung to my body and I was starting to sweat. I stood up and took off my clothes and steeped in to the shower.

"What now...?" I murmured as I let lifted my face to the hot water and let it run over my face.

Should I stick with Ryuichi? Or should I go to Yuki?

Or should I try to forget that all of this ever happened?

I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to imagine my life before any of this happened. I had been with Hiro. Not successful..

But Happy

"Could I ever return to those few years?" I posed the question to no one, not even myself.

I stepped out of the shower and toweled myself try. I pulled on the boxers and stepped into the still unlit room. I figured it would be best to get dressed in there since the bathroom was wet.

I started to pull on the pants when a voice behind me made me jump.

"Nice ass" He said and grinned.

"Tatsuha? What the hell are you doing here?" I yelled. Suddenly the door to the room swung open and Ryuichi walked in carrying in a tray with three mugs or hot chocolate.

He surveyed the scene for a moment and turned to the faithful pink Kumagoro and said "Kumagoro I think we should leave them alone." and walked out.

I jammed on the rest of my clothes and turned to Tatsuha.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I yelled again.

"Ryuichi invited me and I think I have a shot tonight!" Tatsuha yelled. I knew of Tatsuha's Ryuichi obsession and of his intentions.

"Oh.. Tatsuha I think you should know.." I said staring at the floor.

"What..?" he asked seeming curious, but a little nervous.

"Well I broke up with Yuki and Ryuichi...kissed me.." I said trailing off. When I looked up tatsuha howled and barreled out of the room and I had a feeling on where we was going. ryuichi re-entered the room.

"Where did tatsuha-kun go?" ryuichi questioned still holding the tray.

"He had to go..." I mumbled.

"You can sleep in my bed Shu-chan. I'll sleep on the couch." ryuichi said and turned to leave the room.

"Shuichi I meant what I said. I hope you will..Be with Me." ryuichi said and his voice faltered at the last three words. He walked out of the room and I lay down in his bed. For hours I stared at the ceiling trying to make sense of everything. I finally managed to fall into a restless sleep.

-yuki's POV-

I was about to fall asleep when the door to my apartment was broken in and fell flat in and a harried Tatsuha stood in my doorway.

"HOW COULD YOU LET SHUICHI TAKE MY RYUICHI?" He screamed. I put my hands over my ears and my first idea was to say that ryuichi would never be his, but then I realized the impact of what he had said.

Shuichi was with Ryuichi.

I placed my hand on the small box in my pocket that had been tormenting me for weeks.

"Tatsuha..Get out of here now..." I whispered. Tatsuha started to protest, but I looked up at him and he recognized the look in my eyes that had haunted the people around me for so many years. Wordlessly he walked out of my apartment. I put out the cigarette on my hand and did not acknowledge the pain or the burn that was starting to swell on my hand. I leaned my head back and tried to fall asleep. It seemed that I had only been asleep for minutes when rays of sun were shining through my eyelids. I tried to ignore them, but when the phone next to me started to ring I picked it up and mumbled a sleepy hello.

"Yuki! Meet me at the front of the park in twenty minutes!" He yelled. I was too tired to argue so I mumbled yes and slammed down the phone. I knew Tatsuha would bother me forever if I did not show up, So I pulled on some clean clothes and walked down the stairs wondering what Tatsuha had in store for me.

-Shuichi's POV-

ryuichi burst in my bedroom at what felt like the crack of dawn and forced a portable phone into my hand. "Meet me at the park in twenty minutes!" He barked and hung up the phone.

"Tatsuha-kun told Ryuichi what was happening and Ryuichi has some clothes for you" Ryuichi squeaked pretending it was Kumagoro that was talking. I took the clothing and the shoes that Ryuichi was holding and walked to the bathroom. My damp clothes were still on the floor, but I ignored them as I changed in to the clothes. A pair of black Jean pants, a black button down shirt, and a pair of fire engine red hightops. I pulled on the complementary hat and sunglasses and walked out of the bathroom.

"I doubt anyone would even recognize me in such dark colored clothing anyway.." I said, but kept the sunglasses and hat on. I yelled a quick goodbye to Ryuichi and left. I had a bad feeling about meeting Tatsuha, but I knew he would kill me if I did not show up. I reached the front of the park and there was Tatsuha.

And Yuki.

I had known the entire walk there that Yuki would be there, but tried to deny it. I slowly approached them and Tatsuha wasted no time. He grabbed my arm and yuki's and dragged us in. We were both dragged to the middle of the park and we both made no resistance, because maybe in truth we wanted to see each other.

And we both knew what was coming up.

Even though I knew it was coming I was always awed by it.

The huge towering Ferris wheel. I looked up and watched the small metal booths rise up and seem to brush across the skyline. Tatsuha quickly paid for the three of us.

The man running the booth grunted something and Tatsuha turned to us.

"Sorry, Only two to a booth" He said cheerfully and pushed us in to a booth. We both tumbled in and sat down in the seats that faced each other.

We began to rise in to the air and I made no move to talk to Yuki. Finally he cleared his throat and looked up at me.

-Yuki's POV-

I looked up at Shuichi and began to talk.

"Shuichi... I'm sorry please come back." I said. It was nothing compared to what I wrote in my romance novels and it was ironic that we were in a perfect situation for a romantic confrontation that always seemed to fall in the tenth chapter in my books.

I looked at him. I looked him up and down and tried to absorb everything about him. He was wearing dark clothing, which seemed to make him look even more slim and innocent. His pink hair fell across his eyes and he finally raised them up to meet mine.

"Yuki..Please just leave me be." He said. I was expecting a long rant. That's what had usually happened when we had a fight. He would be indignant and upset. He would scream and yell and I would try to make him feel better. Once I showed any signs of desperation he seemed to falter because I never revealed myself emotionally to him.

_You are the one who did this to him..._

The voice floated across my conscience and seemed to bury it self in the haze of emotions that had been haunting me since the moment I realized Shuichi was not getting changed.

_You broke him..._

My hand seemed to work without me and I felt them reach into the small pink box in my pocket. I pulled it open and showed it to Shuichi.

"You are only doing this because..I left...its going to be the same no matter what.." Shuichi said.

"I bought this a month ago. I just didn't have the courage to.." I trailed off and not finishing the sentence. I knew Shuichi understood even though know one else would. He understood that I never would have imagined going as far to reveal that I loved someone.

"Yuki..." He murmured.

I stood up and grabbed his wrists. "Shuichi listen to me!" I yelled. He struggled and finally I let go of him. His eyes were tightly closed and I could see tears gathering at the edge of them. We were coming down to the bottom and I knew we would go around once more before the ride stopped. I forced the small pink box into his hand. When we reached the bottom Shuichi jumped over the small metal door and began to run. His jeans had been shredded by the impact and his hat had been blown away by a gust of wind. his pink hair was glinting in the sunlight as he ran. I watched him run as the Ferris wheel made its second round.

-Shuichi's POV-

I began to run as fast as I could and I could feel the blood trickle down my leg. I ran into the woods and leaned against a tree. I was panting heavily and my sunglasses were hanging from only one ear. I became aware of the pink box in my hand and opened it. A gold ring with a pink stone lay inside and I felt a rush of emotion. I noticed something engraved in the ring and held it up to the light to read it.

I want to find out if true love is real. With you.

A line from Yuki's most popular romance novel. My hand fell limp and the ring dropped in to the grass. The gold band glinted.

_How could something so beautiful become so rotten...?_

_So fast?_

Please leave a review even if you have reviewed the first chapter. I love having feedback and I'd appreciate it. 


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